this is crazy

It's already been a week, huh? I guess I'm not surprised.

To recap, this week I:

- worked an awful lot
- went to the main campus for class; the hated, evil campus
- the campus is so evil, in fact, that certain sections of the campus call the section I have class in "evil"
- so basically IT'S NOT JUST ME
- but I saw the one-and-only, lovely Birdie (Miriam) at the non-evil part of the evil campus, and that made life swell
- I saw Blissy darlin' on Thursday; we went a-book-huntin', but no luck yet
- got some pretty good confirmation that we'll be going to Australia and New Zealand this summer

*pause*

- hit a pretty huge milestone; maybe more on that later, it was a first for me (!!!!!)
- talked to little Levi on the phone and it completely made my Wednesday; three year-olds on the phone are fuuuuun!
- learned that professors are catty when talking about other professors
- found out that I am a producer; I like that word
- ordered hundreds of dollars worth of stuff off of Amazon (mainly textbooks) and thought I ordered two things I didn't; that's pretty lame of me

- found a new favorite song (#4)

- went it to work an hour late (Friday) because there was no school in session and my fabulous boss told me I could come in whenever I wanted, even though I'm hourly

- I used the time to have coffee with Miriam and Ariel and chat summer tour plans; loooovely!

That's the gist of it. I didn't mention the hours and hours of classes, or late nights. Or the fact that I babysat Thursday night (I have a regular babysitting schedule with the same family, going on five years now) and they got home early and still paid me my regular amount.

I need to go hang out laundry. And write more essays...ugh! That's another topic. SO that's it. I've got nothin' much to say. Today was a great day.

OH, I can't believe I forgot.

Last night I went out with some girlfriends from school (which I have never done before) and had a fabulous time! There's nothing like a fresh group of people and a good girls night out to turn a week into sunshine and roses. Ahhhh.

This is crazy.

P.S. - I really love this layout, but I'm still figuring it out. I don't know that I will.

Read More 4 comments | Posted by Rebekah Anne |

florida kids first snow, circa 1999

Michael & I, ages 11 and 10

little Ben, 6

us & Dad

Read More 2 comments | Posted by Rebekah Anne |

he never lets go

I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine, and we were talking about growing up, the hard things about growing up. We're both coming to realize that when adults talk about life being hard, they're not really talking about bills or moving, or even losing a job. It's the relationships that are the most difficult part, the relationships that we have to let go.

Honestly, everything requires work and all relationships are a journey. But with friendships and marriages, usually two people mutually agree that they want to be friends, that they want to work through a stupid fight or disagreement. Even if it's just a misunderstanding or a different method of folding towels. The same end-goal is envisioned with a common heart.

But then there are those relationships that have been formed over the course of a decade, that have withstood the craziness of teenage years and have been nicked and bruised by misconceptions and bad communication. And they have grown. And they have prayed together and cried with each other and then prayed together for others and been the shoulder for others to cry on.

And then something happens. And the foundation stays, thank God it stays, but something else changes. And all of the sudden your best friend or sister or boyfriend starts saying things that don't exactly ring true and starts accepting lies, small ones, for truth.

And your heart starts to hurt just a little bit, wondering if this is just a phase or a lame attempt at a joke.

And then, even more suddenly, they start walking in another direction, and because you have been through so much together you cannot say one thing that they will hear. And we can't give up, but we have to let go.

It's wearying, even grueling. And I don't know how to let go like that, but what else is there to do? It has to be done. It doesn't mean the relationship is over, it doesn't mean that the love and history still doesn't exist.... but it's this odd co-habitation. And new memories are made and you still pray together, but the lies are still there, existing, and your best friend doesn't see them making a move for her heart.

And people open the door to them all the time.

So we sit back, praying, but watching them walk in the other direction. Watching them let themselves be harmfully manipulated by their own mother or consistently date the wrong men.

No one realizes that just one or two small things can change the focus of an entire image.

We have to let go of trying to convince someone they are being hurt, of trying to show our sister that they are about to trip and fall. Sometimes we have to let go of friends.

And it hurts. It hurts more than anything I have ever experienced because we don't know if they are ever going to be okay again.

And then, sometimes, the right choice is made. When your boyfriend, near fiance, asks you to choose between him or the Holy Spirit, you hang up the phone. And you rejoice that God protected you. But letting go of him? Of worrying about him and the path he's on? That's a harder task.

All of these situations are being lived right now by some of my closest friends. And this friend and I were talking, like we have so many times before, about how frustrated and sad and gut-wrenching it is to watch our childhood friends, sisters, do this. To watch people we have ministered with completely give themselves to someone so undeserving of their heart. To watch people we have been all over the world with, danced with, sang with, been through the worst of professors with, to watch them close their eyes, plug their ears and keep walking away.

So I hung up the phone and opened up iTunes. I needed space and quiet. And the song I had paused it on was this:

When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Ever faithful
Ever true
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

When clouds brought rain
And disaster came
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rose
And hope had flown
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul
Overflows
Oh, what love, oh, what love
Oh, my soul
Fills hope
Perfect love that never lets go

Oh, what love, oh, what love
Oh, what love, oh, what love
In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You're the same
Oh, You never let go

- David Crowder

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Rebekah Anne |

just gotta laugh

One is my advisor in my academic life, the other in my personal life. One is a staunch (in every sense of the word) Democrat and the words "engaged citizen" more than apply. The other is one my second mom, one of the wisest people I know. Both are writing recommendation letters for me for grad school. I present to you...

The facebook status of my closest professor:
Judithanne is this time next week we'll be in Washington DC for the inauguration!

The facebook status of my pastor:
Kathleen is thrilled with a successful day dominating demons who think they can subject God's peeps.

Hehehe...maybe it's only funny to me. Two polar opposites. Or maybe not. I love it.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Rebekah Anne |

CompassionArt

You must go here. I've been listening to my free songs for days. Daaays! It's soul stirring.

Feel free to go here too. And here. And here.

And download the first chapter of the book here.

It's so good! I promise! Go!

Read More 2 comments | Posted by Rebekah Anne |

pieces

Lots to report and my brain is mush. What can I say? Life is once again zero to sixty and at the moment it's my bed time.

(Yes, 9:30 pm is my new bed time. Because 5:30 am is my new start time. Two days in a row and so far a success. Yay.)

(Ish.)

So. Today I have been thinking ever so much. My brain flip flops every which way throughout the day and if I don't write things

down I am scrambled.

Today I was thinking about how excited I am to be starting a little Bible study with my best buddy, Bliss. She's sweet and lovely and I have been praying for years about going through scripture with a good friend. I could care less that she's seven years younger than me; the joy is in the experience together. God always reveals himself when we earnestly seek Him, and I am giddy-happy to seek with Bliss. Praise God for answered prayers.

(Yes, I realize she has the coolest name.)

We're going through this book; don't be fooled, it is not sappy, but actually very challenging.

(I've read it. Twice!)

Last night I was approached by one of my neighbors about babysitting his children this weekend. I said yes.

And then about forty minutes later I freaked out at the insanity I had just agreed to.

Here's why:

Said neighbor has lived on our street for a year, maybe two, and has two young boys, ages six and eight. They are nice boys, but unfortunately they are victims to a very unfair and heartbreaking situation. Their mom ran off years ago, leaving their fifty-something year old dad to care for them.

Which he doesn't do. They run around the neighborhood at all hours, before and after dark, without any supervision. There's a park two blocks away, and often they can be found over there. After dark. No daddy in sight.

Their dad asked me to watch them this weekend while he goes to a playoff football game (flying out Saturday, back Sunday night) and while he was talking to me he rattled off the logistics, followed by "Oh yeah, if you want to do something by yourself for a few hours, just throw A & J outside and they'll be fine."

Uh, what? I can't do that with the 12 year-old I babysit every week. My God.

After our conversation I went up to the church to post some things on the IDC calendar during rehearsal. While there I was chatting with the company (aka friends) and mentioned what had just taken place.

Let's just say their reactions were a nice 'n heavy 2-by-4. Especially that of my brothers.

I then proceeded to have quite the freak-out about what I am getting myself into. Not that I can't handle them, and they are quite the handful, but five solid days of work/school followed by two days of A & J, with no break (and no church!), followed by five more days of work/school..... AGGHHH!

I ended up recruiting someone to help me. Thank you, Lord! We'll see how it goes...

Proceeding with my rambly, hopping-all-over-the-place blog, today was my first day of actual classes. I'm taking a political theory class (b-l-a-h), news publication/design, media law, abnormal psych, political behavior (there's another part to that title, but I can't remember it), and an exit class for journalism.

Whew. But much better than the last year. I have a grand total of sixteen credits this semester instead of the eighteen per semester of the last spring/fall. I learned today that my major semester projects are:

1) a 3000 word political theory paper

2) a sixteen page magazine, content designed and produced solely by moi

3) an eight page legal research paper

4) my very own website

5) 10 page public opinion paper

... plus exams and assignments, etc. And GRE prep. And grad school/moving prep. And IDC tour planning (to Australia!).

Good thing it's my last semester because the university could very well kill me should I be forced to endure another round of this.

...

I was about to end this, but I just got a facebook notification that one of my "friends" answered the question, "Do you think Rebekah is a virgin?".

A wha? Since when does facebook have this kind of stuff? What?!?

Too much! Too much!

Gooood.Night.

Read More 3 comments | Posted by Rebekah Anne |

good bye 19

Today I left the teen years behind. And that makes me really happy.

I started this day convinced that nothing could top the great hotel-burning-down incident of last year, and I was right. Oh happy day.

(It really was one of the best birthdays I've ever had!)

I took the GRE, worked, and overall had a pretty decent day... but right now I'm so tired my head hurts. In a good-tired way.

School started today (both college and public school, i.e. my job), and all of the sudden my life is back in warp speed... which is good, I suppose.

Agh. Tired, but happy. I have lots of pictures and stories and laughs from my 3 week break, but they will wait. Tonight is for rest.

**photo is of my uncle and I circa 1990? something like that... :) **

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Rebekah Anne |

...almost there...

i Am

I am a 20 year-old student at the University of South Florida. I graduate in the spring and then my Master's in Chicago, followed by law school. God is free to mess that plan up. I love kids. I love traveling. I love coffee (though tea is creeping high on the list!). Jesus Christ is the only one who makes me feel the way I feel. His love is strong.

...